The Panther planned and coordinated the Watergate break-in. Nixon was the fall guy.

The Panther planned and coordinated the Watergate break-in. Nixon was the fall guy.

Beware the Ides of March

Beware the Ides of March

The Panther is so evil that he stole my update for today while I was distracted by the Big East Championship Game. How dastardly can one Panther be?

The Panther is so evil that he stole my update for today while I was distracted by the Big East Championship Game. How dastardly can one Panther be?

Lindsay Lohan was actually somewhat normal until she met the Panther. Now she's suing E*Trade because a talking baby was a milk-a-holic. She's obviously lost her mind thanks to the Panther's evil ways and influences. (Please don't sue us...)

Lindsay Lohan was actually somewhat normal until she met the Panther. Now she’s suing E*Trade because a talking baby was a milk-a-holic. She’s obviously lost her mind thanks to the Panther’s evil ways and influences. (Please don’t sue us…)

Bill Clinton had never heard of Monica Lewinsky until the Panther introduced them.

Bill Clinton had never heard of Monica Lewinsky until the Panther introduced them.

The Panther broke the 153-year old Joe Paterno's leg.

The Panther broke the 153-year old Joe Paterno’s leg.

The Panther was obviously the inspiration for Richard Simmons.

The Panther was obviously the inspiration for Richard Simmons.

To Mountaineer fans, it's a series that shouldn't exist. To Thundering Herd fans, the obvious WVU advantage with the number of home games is unfair. The Panther orchestrated it all just to torture all citizens of West Virginia.

To Mountaineer fans, it’s a series that shouldn’t exist. To Thundering Herd fans, the obvious WVU advantage with the number of home games is unfair. The Panther orchestrated it all just to torture all citizens of West Virginia.

The Panther was responsible for painting Chinese toys with lead paints and shipping them to America. They shipped to all cities but Pittsburgh...

The Panther was responsible for painting Chinese toys with lead paints and shipping them to America. They shipped to all cities but Pittsburgh…

It was actually the Panther who came up with the "if the glove don't fit, you must acquit" defense. OJ Simpson was eventually acquitted in the "Trial of the Century."

It was actually the Panther who came up with the “if the glove don’t fit, you must acquit” defense. OJ Simpson was eventually acquitted in the “Trial of the Century.”

The Panther introduced John Lennon to Yoko Ono at the Indica Gallery in London on November 9, 1966 with the sole intenion of eventually breaking up the Beatles.

The Panther introduced John Lennon to Yoko Ono at the Indica Gallery in London on November 9, 1966 with the sole intenion of eventually breaking up the Beatles.

This is an undated photo of the Texas School Book Depository in Dallas, Texas. We can't say for sure what the Panther was up to in this photo but we're pretty certain it was something evil. Draw your own conclusions as to his intentions.

This is an undated photo of the Texas School Book Depository in Dallas, Texas. We can’t say for sure what the Panther was up to in this photo but we’re pretty certain it was something evil. Draw your own conclusions as to his intentions.

The Panther is seen here with Ayatollah Khomeini of Iran. For several years, the Panther remained a leading member of the Ayatollah's traveling entourage.

The Panther is seen here with Ayatollah Khomeini of Iran. For several years, the Panther remained a leading member of the Ayatollah’s traveling entourage.

Rod Blagojevich, former governor of Illinois, was just an innocent bystander and had no knowledge of the Panther trying to sell President Obama's Senate seat. But that story is never told in the mainstream biased media. This picture was taken at a fundraiser.

Rod Blagojevich, former governor of Illinois, was just an innocent bystander and had no knowledge of the Panther trying to sell President Obama’s Senate seat. But that story is never told in the mainstream biased media. This picture was taken at a fundraiser.

The Panther was a primary supporter of Mao Zedong, who led the People's Republic of China from its establishment in 1949 until his death in 1976. It is estimated that Mao's "Great Leap Forward" cost 20-46 million Chinese lives due to famine.

The Panther was a primary supporter of Mao Zedong, who led the People’s Republic of China from its establishment in 1949 until his death in 1976. It is estimated that Mao’s “Great Leap Forward” cost 20-46 million Chinese lives due to famine.

Though unreported by the national media, evilpitt.com has uncovered that USA goalie Ryan Miller was pulled from the USA/Canada gold medal game after regulation. In his place was the Panther, who had already conspired with Sidney Crosby to allow the game-winning goal.

Though unreported by the national media, evilpitt.com has uncovered that USA goalie Ryan Miller was pulled from the USA/Canada gold medal game after regulation. In his place was the Panther, who had already conspired with Sidney Crosby to allow the game-winning goal.

Popular legend says Mrs. O'Leary set fire to Chicago in 1871 when out milking her cow. Little known is the fact that Mrs. O'Leary was asleep and it was actually the Panther who milked the cow on that fateful evening. Here is a picture of the Panther milking Mrs. O'Leary's cow. Take note of the traditional milking wear that the Panther is sporting.

Popular legend says Mrs. O’Leary set fire to Chicago in 1871 when out milking her cow. Little known is the fact that Mrs. O’Leary was asleep and it was actually the Panther who milked the cow on that fateful evening. Here is a picture of the Panther milking Mrs. O’Leary’s cow. Take note of the traditional milking wear that the Panther is sporting.

For decades, the Panther buried Pittsburgh's toxic waste under Niagara Falls, New York, including the neighborhood of Love Canal. After an investigation, President Jimmy Carter, in 1978 offered the use of federal funds to relocate the waste and rebuild the community, but the issue of toxic contamination remained. The Panther refuses to acknowledge his role in the Love Canal ecological disaster to this day.

For decades, the Panther buried Pittsburgh’s toxic waste under Niagara Falls, New York, including the neighborhood of Love Canal. After an investigation, President Jimmy Carter, in 1978 offered the use of federal funds to relocate the waste and rebuild the community, but the issue of toxic contamination remained. The Panther refuses to acknowledge his role in the Love Canal ecological disaster to this day.

Someone had to track down all the extra-curricular women in Tiger Woods' life. That's where the Panther came into play. Tigers and Panthers should not mingle.

Someone had to track down all the extra-curricular women in Tiger Woods’ life. That’s where the Panther came into play. Tigers and Panthers should not mingle.

Though attempting to hide his identity by wearing a mask, the Panther's unmistakable features are obvious in this 2007 picture of Somali Pirates. The Panther still encourages piracy upon the high seas around the world.

Though attempting to hide his identity by wearing a mask, the Panther’s unmistakable features are obvious in this 2007 picture of Somali Pirates. The Panther still encourages piracy upon the high seas around the world.

In November of 2007, the Panther and Rich Rodriguez held a secret meeting in Ohio. The Panther told Rodriguez that the University of Michigan did not have to follow NCAA practice rules and he could practice as long as he wanted. Rodriguez lost to Pittsburgh in December 2007 and left for Michigan a week later.

In November of 2007, the Panther and Rich Rodriguez held a secret meeting in Ohio. The Panther told Rodriguez that the University of Michigan did not have to follow NCAA practice rules and he could practice as long as he wanted. Rodriguez lost to Pittsburgh in December 2007 and left for Michigan a week later.

Former chairman Kenneth Lay wanted to keep Enron legit but the Panther insisted on shady accounting practices to boost prices. Isn't it amazing how the Panther knew to sell his Enron stock right before the Feds came flying in? Just another coincidence, I'm sure...

Former chairman Kenneth Lay wanted to keep Enron legit but the Panther insisted on shady accounting practices to boost prices. Isn’t it amazing how the Panther knew to sell his Enron stock right before the Feds came flying in? Just another coincidence, I’m sure…

Long before Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction, the Pitt Panther shocked Canadian audiences with a risqué performance at the 2002 Grey Cup. Judging by Betty White's reaction to the incident, the whole episode was planned in advance.

Long before Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction, the Pitt Panther shocked Canadian audiences with a risqué performance at the 2002 Grey Cup. Judging by Betty White’s reaction to the incident, the whole episode was planned in advance.

The Panther helped created the 26th of July movement with Fidel Castro which led to the overthrow of Fulgencio Batista in 1959. With constant support from the Panther, the Castro regime has been able to stay in power since.

The Panther helped created the 26th of July movement with Fidel Castro which led to the overthrow of Fulgencio Batista in 1959. With constant support from the Panther, the Castro regime has been able to stay in power since.

Yasir Arafat wanted to turn the Palestinian Liberation Organization into a traveling theatre company. Only with the Panther's input did they become one of the leading terrorist organizations in the Middle East.

Yasir Arafat wanted to turn the Palestinian Liberation Organization into a traveling theatre company. Only with the Panther’s input did they become one of the leading terrorist organizations in the Middle East.

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